It is Great to be a GUY /TITLE> </HEAD> <BODY TEXT="#000000" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" LINK="#0000FF" VLINK="#800080" ALINK="#FF0000" BACKGROUND="images/dz_back.gif" bgproperties="fixed"> <p align="center"><u><font size="5"><b>It's Great To Be A Guy</b></font></u></p> <ul> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You know stuff about tanks.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Monday Night Football.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can open all your own jars.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can go to the bathroom without a support group.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Your last name stays put.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can leave a hotel bed unmade.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can kill your own food.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">The garage is all yours.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Wedding plans take care of themselves.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't have to shave below your neck.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If you're 34 and single nobody notices.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Everything on your face stays its original color.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Chocolate is just another snack.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can be president.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Flowers fix everything.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Three pair of shoes are more than enough.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can say anything and not worry about what people think.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Car mechanics tell you the truth.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your spouse is about to leave you.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">One mood, all the time.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Gray hair and wrinkles add character.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't mooch off others' desserts.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If you retain water, it's in a canteen.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">The remote is yours and yours alone.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">ESPN's sports center.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"</FONT></b></LI> <LI> <b><FONT SIZE=4 FACE="Courier New">There is always a game on somewhere.</FONT></b><font SIZE="4"></LI> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">The world is your urinal.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. </font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. </font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">Same work, more pay.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can open all your own jars.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You almost never have strap problems in public.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can play with toys all your life.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">Your belly usually hides your big hips.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.</font></b></li> <li><b><font face="Courier New">You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45minutes.</font></b></font><p> </li> </ul> </BODY> </HTML>